Day 8: June 28, 2021

Day 8: 32 minutes, 3,844 steps, 1.63 miles

Dear @jstallz @intrinsicpaths

About 6 minutes into my walk this morning, I turned the second corner by the middle school, and noticed three street signs. The first was a One Way sign pointing to the right. The second was a bright yellow Deaf Child sign, and the third was another One Way sign- this time pointing to the left. And I spent the rest of my walk ruminating on those three signs.

First, even though technically I am not deaf, my hearing loss is profound enough that many people (and sometimes myself, included) will refer to me as “deaf.” Especially if I wasn’t wearing my hearing aids, or the batteries to them are dying, or I say “huh?” one times too many. As a “deaf” person, I spend a lot of time in my own little world, the incessant roar of the hearing all around me. Unable to join in with noisy group conversations, unable to make out spoken words or to hear the jokes, I’ve spent a lifetime settling back and observing lives around me- people’s expressions, laughing faces, lips tightened in irritation, the sad eyes. I actually like the quiet— my hearing aids are the first things I take off when I get home, allowing me to sink at once with deep gratitude into that quiet and comforting and peaceful space that is mine alone. Ironically, I listen to a lot in that quiet space- the memory of my mom’s laugh, the song I used to sing in the 1st grade, that quiet voice telling me to Be Still. The Deaf Child sign caught my attention as if it had personally called out my name.

One Way left and One Way right got me thinking about forks in the road, choices, and hard decisions, and sometimes simply not being able to figure out which ones are the right ones. Why do some people always go Right and others always hang Left? And who is right? Standing there, I cannot see far enough ahead to know which direction holds more joy and peace, or less pain and devastation. Which one ends with an empty box and which one ends with the box of sparkling confetti and a million dollars? Or more importantly- which way am *I* to go? Will God still be there? Will you?

Jeremiah 29:11

#walking#selfcare#walkingtherapy

~Tinooseus!